You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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