When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
