listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
