chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why is there bacon in the couch?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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