My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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