It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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