More tranny stories later!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
