Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
