Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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