I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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