I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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