Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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