I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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