This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
