I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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