do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
