Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
