Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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