I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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