i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize