i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
