I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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