Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
