Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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