so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
