hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
