"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
