But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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