just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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