i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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