hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I have vodka in my lungs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
