i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
