A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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