omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
honey bunches of taint.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
