Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
now i know why i became what i already was.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
