I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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