he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
