I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
