You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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