Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
