I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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