worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
