afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
