12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
