for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
