I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So squirting runs in the family.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize