My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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