I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
