I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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