I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
