I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
