BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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