I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
