He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
