Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
