Christians are straight up FREAKS
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
